Hurting
by Zoken
Summary: Xrated for languageX most people think Jean is a selfobsessed princess. but what happens when oneday, she doesnt answer her door? they can hear her in there crying, but she won't answer. Oh God Jean what have you done? this is in response to all th
1. Cut

Okay this is in response to all the Jean-haters out there. Now she isn't my fav evo char, but she isn't as bad as you guys make her. I warn you that there is cursing. I don't want them to curse but that is just the way I think they would react to this situation.So here goes.  
  
She was surprised that it didn't move faster. She thought it was supposed to spurt out. But instead it just slowly dribbled. It was still going fast enough though to serve its her purpose. Give it maybe five more minutes. But then there was knock on the door.  
  
"Jean, Professor wants ya," came the southern drawl. "Jean, come on. It's time for a danger room session."  
  
Part of Jean knew that if she wanted to be left alone she had to answer. But somehow she couldn't bring herself to do it. She just sat on her bed against the wall, and waited. "Jean? Jean come on, ah know yar in there." Rogue waited and then tried again, this time she was starting to sound scared, "Jean are you in trouble? Jean?" the door handle rattled, but Jean had remembered to lock it. There were a couple of thuds on the door, Rogue had probably tried to force it. "Jean just hold on ah'll get help!" Then the southern voice screamed up the hallway, "Somebody come help!"  
  
"Like what's up?" asked an up beat valley voice.  
  
"Its Jean, she's in there but she aint answerin, and the door's locked. Ah need ya ta phase us in there." As Jean listened, she began to sniffle. They were spending so much time over nothing. In five more minutes there would be nothing more to worry about.  
  
"Alright Jean," called the valley voice, "We're, like, coming in."  
  
No sooner were the two through the door, than the goth screamed. She turned on Kitty and yelled, go get help, Dr. McCoy, Wolverine, The Professor, any body go!" As Kitty left she turned her attention back on her team mate. She wrapped some blankets around Jeans wrist. She looked around. The vanity mirror was shattered. And a large piece was beside Jean on the bed. Jean fought Rogue's help, but she was too weak. Rogue didn't know what to do as she held pressure on the self-inflicted wound, so she cursed Jean out; "you stupid bitch. How could ya be this dumb? I thought ya were smarter than this. You caint give up, yer too important."  
  
Jean looked confusedly at Rogue. Why did she care? Rogue didn't even like Jean. And what did she mean too important? But Jean couldn't fight things any more, she had lost consciousness. Rogue was still holding tight to the sheet to keep pressure, and cursing up an awful storm, when the professor and Logan rushed in, "Don't ya fucking die, ya stupid bitch." Later she would be asked why she had spoken in such a way. The truth is she didn't know. She just could stand the fact that the person she had the most respect for, while granted the least affection for, had done something so monumentally stupid, just totally blew her mind.  
  
Logan swept Rogue out of the way, and hoisted Jean into his powerful arms, immediately taking her down to the sick-bay. Along the way, he cursed in his head a million times worse than Rogue even knew how to. Henry immediately took over care. An hour later, he came out to announce, "She going to be fine, physically. She is going to physically be fine. But I don't know how to treat what caused her to do this.  
  
Jean woke up to find Kurt leaning back in a chair. 'damn,' she thought, 'I cant even do that right. Well just another thing in a long list.'  
  
Kurt saw her eyes were open and headed over. He was afraid and unsure what to say. "guten tag fraulein. Did you .,., er .,., sleep well?"  
  
"If I'm here then no," Jean said with a tear in her eye.  
  
"Vhy?" asked Kurt.  
  
"Why what?" Jean asked, not that she would have even needed her telepathy to actually know what he was asking.  
  
"Vhy vould you do.,., dat?"  
  
She rolled over to face away from him and said, "Because I cant help anybody. Because I all ever did is nothing. Because I don't matter in the grand scheme. Because I am a freak. Take your pick."  
  
Kurt didn't say anything; he just pressed a small button and looked though what was obviously a two way mirror. In came the professor and Dr. McCoy. Kurt left, but Jean caught his last thought as he left, "I must light a candle for her, I will call mom and dad, so they can pray too."  
  
"Are you feeling better Jean?" the professor asked. She didn't look at either of them. She just wanted another chance to succeed where she had most recently failed. Dr. McCoy checked her stats and said that she was physically fine. Charles tried once more to converse with Jean, but the girl said nothing.  
  
Outside in the observation room, Logan and Ororo sat in shock at what had happened. Scott, and the other students had been trading shifts sitting with Jean. Only Bobby, Roberto and, Ray hadn't volunteered for a moment to keep the vigil. The students were in a waiting room a little further out. "Why did she do that Chuck?" Logan asked immediately.  
  
"I don't know," Charles responded and upon a growl from Logan, he expanded, "I taught her too well to protect herself from other psychics. And even if I could find it, it would be a breech of trust to tell anyone, without her express conscent." Charles could see this did little to ease Logan's distress. He patted his friend on the back and wheeled out with Henry and Ororo close behind. Logan just stayed behind and kept an eye on Jean. As the elf came back in he pondered his connection with the girls at the institute. For some reason, unknown to him, he seemed to be more protective of the girls here than of the boys. Maybe it was some chauvinistic thing, Ororo would lecture him ad nausium about it if it were, or maybe it was simply the fact that he always knew, that when he settled down and started a family, he wanted daughters and granddaughters.  
  
Until the day came when he had a litter of his own to look after, He vowed to protect these little ones. Even from themselves. he would protect Red, Stripes, Half-Pint, and even Hot-Head.  
  
Well what do you think? Listen next chap we get more into her reasons for doing it. But the straw that broke the camel's back wont be revealed until chap three. Next chap: Visitors. 


	2. Visitors

Visitors  
  
The next few days brought all the visitors traipsing through. At times she felt as if she were on display. And every time someone different came in they asked the same question; why. But Jean could never tell them. She could never tell anyone that she was unlike anyone else here. She was the biggest freak ever. She didn't know if she would ever try again, but she knew that how she felt hadn't changed. She still wanted her pain to go away. She still wanted to stop disappointing people. There were times when she wanted to jump out a window, but she couldn't. she was still technically hooked up to everything, even though she had "overheard" the professor telling Dr. McCoy to keep her hooked up as a preventative measure.  
  
What made her want her death the most was when she could see Scott and Rogue in the room at the same time. It was so obvious the way they felt about each other, Jean wanted to scream. She knew that the person she loved, the person she wanted to give her heart to, was already in love with someone else. God, life sucked. Kurt tried to cheer her up by doing a slapstick routine with Jamie and Bobby, but it was to no avail, and very price repair bills. Jean's depression began to drown her deeper and deeper.  
  
The only times things felt right was when Rogue came by to curse her out. The first time she knew the Professor was watching ready to stop the southern belle overstepped a boundary. But he had never done anything.  
  
"You're an idiot, ya know that right?" she had said spinning a chair around backwards and straddling it. Rogue looked at Jean with eyes that weren't truly angry. Jean saw something in there that was frightened. "You tryn to throw everythin you got away er somthin?"  
  
"I don't have anything," Jean said, her own blue eyes searching Rouge's green ones for their purpose in being here, but as always the eyes revealed nothing.  
  
"Ya got Scott," Rogue countered.  
  
"No," Jean said motioning to the observation room, "you have him. He chose your emerald eyes, and ivory skin over me. He chose your compact but dangerous stature, over my tall lanky and awkward one. He chose you Rogue. He will always choose you."  
  
Rouge was taken aback. She had no idea what to say, so she returned to her original plan; as many explicative in as little space as possible. After fifteen minutes of Jean taking in every word, Rogue left. She was angrier than when she had come in.  
  
No one knew if Jean would try again, so she was never left alone. When the students were in school, Dr. McCoy stayed with her, later Scott would rotate with others. At night, after the professor forced Scott to go to bed, Logan would keep the vigil. To be honest, she liked having them there, but it only reminded her of how truly unworthy she felt she was. she had never thought that her friends disliked her, only that they would if they ever knew her secret.  
  
Since she wasn't allowed to be alone, she didn't go to school, Dr. McCoy would come in and tutor her, so she didn't fall behind. Scott, Rogue (Erg how she hated seeing them together) and Kurt would bring her her homework.  
  
One day someone new stepped through the med bay doors. She was tall and blonde, with glasses and an air that said, "I am here to save." Jean thought that this might be another doctor here to double check Dr. McCoy's work, probably sent by her parents.  
  
The blonde wore her hair up, and a pant-suit. She sat down next to Jean's bed and introduced herself, "Hi, you must be Jean, I am Dr. Braddock. Professor Xavier thought you might need someone to talk too."  
  
"Why didn't he just read my mind find out I don't want to talk?" Jean said turning away from the startlingly beautiful woman.  
  
"Because he respects you too much for that Jean," Dr. Braddock said. "So, is there anything you to talk about? I am here to listen and to help you work through whatever caused you to hurt yourself. You should know that everyone of you friends that I spoke with is very worried about you."  
  
"I know, but they shouldn't be," Jean said.  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"Because Dr. Braddock, I failed them at everything. Its not that I don't feel loved, its that I don't deserve the love."  
  
"Please call me Betsy, and why do you feel that you don't deserve your friends' love?"  
  
"Because, I fail in the dan.,., er.,., training practice, I lost every one of my accomplishments, my grades went down the tubes. I am a failure. I don't deserve all that's spent on me."  
  
"Oh don't be afraid to mention the danger room to me. I helped Charles and Logan design it, who do you think holds the high score on "Logan's Run"? but just because you have had some set backs doesn't mean you are unworthy of love."  
  
"But there's something else that they don't know. And if they did, no one would ever talk to me again. I just don't want to hurt them. I don't want them to know what kind of freak I am."  
  
"Jean, what is it you're hiding. I am sure you are underestimating your friends."  
  
"Have you ever been absolutely head over heels for someone, but knew you had absolutely no chance?" Jean asked looking directly into Betsy's eyes. Betsy nodded, she remembered once long ago, there was a man she loved. But he carried too much on his heart already to add love to it. So she had let the man go. But to this day she still carried the love for him, for that feral man, the one with the adamantium claws.  
  
"So I was told that you recently broke-up with a Mr. Mathews. Is this the young man your speaking of?"  
  
Jean couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Duncan is an idiot, and I should have realized that sooner. Some great psychic I am."  
  
"So this would be about Mr. Summers?"  
  
Jean paused, unsure how to answer that question. "in a way," she said finally.  
  
"Jean, I can help you, but only if you don't hold back from me. I swear that no matter what you tell me, I won't tell anyone else, unless it's about trying to hurt yourself."  
  
"The only help I need is in getting out of everybody's way. They don't need me. No one needs me. That's why I just want to die, so they can all be better off."  
  
Betsy shook her head, "Listen Jean, I will be staying at the institute for a few days, let me know if you want to talk. I am always ready to listen." Betsy Braddock walked out of the door for the second time in her life, she was defeated. She only hoped that she could eventually save this one.  
  
Jean sat there in her bed. She looked out the window, which had been locked. She had wanted two things; a love of her own, and to mean something to those around her. Her love would never return her emotions, and she was basically a poor-man's Cyclops. She had no love and no purpose. What was her point in being here? and once again the tears came. Scott came in and tried to hold her, but she fought him off angrily. She didn't want him touching her.  
  
And so Scott watched her through the evening, and Wolverine watched her through the night. But all she did was weep. And soon the sadness began infecting others, they began to feel weak. They all wanted to help Jean, but not one of them could. The only one who could was too busy in a new relationship with the person who had saved them, in the icy mountains. 


	3. Secret

Okay people here we go!  
  
Educating the Tutor  
  
Jean was still bound to the infirmary. They didn't trust her, and she didn't blame them. The professor was probably reading her mind to find out if she would try again. She didn't mind letting him know that she would. But she would not allow him to know her secret. She couldn't loose his respect. But hadn't she already done that?  
  
One day Dr. McCoy didn't come in. instead, Logan walked in, flipped a chair around and straddled it. "Alright Red," he started, "Hank had to go on a recruitment some where, I don't know. But I am your tutor tuday. Ya ready?"  
  
She just shrugged her shoulders as usual. She really didn't see the point. She didn't want to be around anyway, why were they bothering? "Okay, tell me what you thought of. . . Catcher In the Rye?"  
  
"I hated it. I despised the main character; I thought he was an idiot who made terrible decisions."  
  
"Now Red, that's a bit. . ."  
  
"But I'm glad I read it. I identified with Holden a lot. And I agree, I want to be the catcher in the rye too. But I cant, I'm just useless."  
  
Logan had no idea what to say. He didn't know how light you were supposed to take it with an eighteen year old girl. He did however know what he would have said if anyone else had said that about Jean, "Bullshit!"  
  
She turned to him in shock. No one else had sworn at her but Rogue. But he wasn't finished. "That is a sack of a hundred percent bullshit. And don't you ever let me catch you talkin' that way 'bout Red again."  
  
She looked down. It took a moment for Logan to realize what he had said. "Just tell me somethin' kid. What makes you think that no one would want you? You know there is no sin to great. Hell my bein' here is livin' proof a that."  
  
"You really wanna know?" she asked.  
  
"Fuck yes kid. That's what we been askin you for the last three weeks."  
  
"You cant tell anyone, you have to guard it like you guard all your thoughts."  
  
"Done in a heartbeat kid, but what is so bad?"  
  
"I'm. . . I'm . . . I'm in love. . ."  
  
"with Scott, we know, but. . ."  
  
"No, with Rogue."  
  
Wolverine stood up and stepped back. His lips moved a lot, but no actual words came out. Jean looked down, and knew it had begun. Then she felt a hand around her shoulder, she looked over and say Logan sitting next to her on the bed. He had his arm around her shoulder giving the closest thing to a hug any of the students had ever gotten from him. "Are ya lesbian or bisexual?"  
  
"Wait, what? Your not freaked out by this?"  
  
"Oh, hell yes I am. But you matter more than my comfort. Kid, we aint gonna give up on you. I bet if you tell Charlie, he'll make arrangements for ya. Hell tell kitty and you'll have a blind date by the end of the week no doubt." He said it all with a smile that tried to tell her that it was all true. But her eyes refused to believe it. Her friends were already better than she deserved, no one was that good.  
  
"You promised."  
  
"Don't worry, I aint gonna tell no one. But I would hope that you do."  
  
"Well I wont," she said resolutely. "I don't want them thinking less of me."  
  
Wolverine walked out, too defeated to continue the lesson. But as he left, he murmured, "You underestimate them Red, you really do." 


	4. Purpose

Here we go. I guess I threw some of you for a loop with the whole Rogue thing. Trust me this is what I had in mind from the beginning. I thought actually I had been hinting too much. Listen, here we go, shout outs  
  
Ms. Marvel: who said bi? And Jean is going to be a little to nervous to be perfect  
  
Relwarc: Glad I could startle you. I hope you like it  
  
Cold: well, I wanted to not be obvious, but I thought I had hinted pretty heavily to this. Any way, I know a fic with Jean as human is rare. I was getting pissed off finding all the ones with her as a super bitch  
  
Ryuu-Chan: you know you're one of my fave reviewers. Hope you like the continuance  
  
RogueVampyr: yes Jean loves Rogue's mind, but she is also into her body.  
  
Now remember I am a straight male, so I have Jean think about women the way I would. We will get into her thinking about women more in the next chap though. If I am making a total ass of myself, please feel free to flame. And anybody who has actually gone through something like this ( a lesbian coming out, or someone who attempted suicide) please let me know how I am doing on this sounding right.  
  
Okay on with the show. . .  
  
Purpose  
  
Jean lay as still as ever. She wasn't actually asleep, but anybody watching would probably think so. She lay there thinking of the fact that she had actually told some one her secret. She knew she could trust Logan, but was he right? Would her friends understand? She didn't dare hope that much.  
  
Her silent battle with herself was interrupted at one in the morning, when the med bay doors flew open, and Logan carried the screaming form of a little girl in. in tow were Professor Xavier, Storm, Dr. McCoy, and Sam Guthrie. Jean couldn't for the life of her figure out what Sam was doing there. Logan put the girl on a bed near by. Jean, clad in her floor- length night gown, got up to see what was going on. As she got closer, she noticed that the girl was covered in bruises, and her arm was at an unnatural angle.  
  
"Ah'll kill him!" Sam roared above the general din. Everybody was talking. The little girl was screaming, Storm and the Professor were talking about what to do, Dr. McCoy was trying to calm the girl down (the girl was terrified of him), and Logan was trying to calm down the teenager known as Cannon Ball.  
  
Logan wrestled Sam out of the room, and Beast said to Prof. X, "Charles its no use, she wont let me get close to her. She is terrified of me."  
  
"She is also afraid of men in general, not surprising after what her father did to her." Charles had read the little girls mind, but did not want to telepathically sedate her, she was only twelve. As he looked over her badly hurt body he currently shared in Samuel's desire to hurt his uncle. Then he noticed Jean edging closer to the group. "Jean, we need your help."  
  
Jean was fairly sure she had misheard, "Me?"  
  
"Yes, you Jean. This is Samuel's cousin, Paige. She recently manifested her mutant power, but she has been severely abused. She wont allow a male to help her, much less Hank. You, however, as a woman would be less threatening, and you could use your telepathy to tap into Hank's medical knowledge."  
  
Jean couldn't believe she was actually needed. "Jean," Beast pressed, "There isn't much time. She needs help now."  
  
It took no more, Jean touched her hand to Dr. McCoy's head, and was ready to go. It was a very tense three hours that Jean spent working to set Paige's bones, and operate on what was hurt internally. But in the end Paige was sleeping like an angel, and Jean thought as she looked at the child, "Some people do need me." She then drifted off to sleep in her chair, with the closest thing to a smile she had worn in days.  
  
"why didn't you just have Betsy do it Charles?" Ororo asked as she stood beside her mentor.  
  
"I took a gamble, but I think we might have saved more than one soul tonight."  
  
Storm slowly began to understand what the telepath had meant.  
  
Jean slept late the next morning. Some where during the night, she had been moved back to her bed. Scott was asleep in the chair next to her bed, as he usually was when she got up. She quietly got up and moved over to check on the little girl, but in the bed where the little girl was supposed to be sleeping. Supposed to be.  
  
In the bed was a wolf, Jean backed away slowly, she didn't particularly like wolves. Then to her surprise the wolf got a look of shock in its eyes, it reached a vaguely hand-like paw up to its face, and ripped its face off. This would have been enough to shock Jean, but then she saw underneath the wolf's face was the sheepishly smiling face of Paige Guthrie. "Sorry," said the little girl.  
  
Jean shook off her astonishment and put on her normal smile and said, "Hi, I'm Jean Grey."  
  
"You're the lady that helped me last night."  
  
"Yeah, that's me."  
  
"Thanks. Ah'm sorry ah scared ya, its just ah saw this guy come in in th' middle of th' night, and he was a demon, not to mention Bigfoot last night."  
  
"Actually Paige," Jean said gently as she sat down, "Those guys are friends. Bigfoot is one of the instructors here. his name is Dr. Henry McCoy, or Beast. The demon's name is Kurt Wagner. To use his own words, he is just a harmless blue fuzzball. Even still he does take the coolest codename; Nightcrawler. The worst thing Kurt will do to you is play a joke, but I'll talk to his sister and she can make sure he leaves you alone for a while."  
  
Paige liked the way Jean was talking to her. Jean wasn't talking down or acting superior. She was explaining things as they were. As Jean opened her mouth to speak, another voice rang out as the door to the Med-bay opened, "Breakfast time Sugah!" in came Rogue carrying two breakfast trays. She looked over at Jean who was sitting with Paige on her bed, "Oh, Ah that ah's gonna have ta wake ya'll up Jean."  
  
"No," Jean said, "I had to chase a wolf out of here." She then sent a wink to Paige that Rogue missed as she was setting the trays on bedside tables.  
  
"Rahne been buggin ya'll already this mornin'?"  
  
Paige giggled and Rogue looked at the two confusedly.  
  
Jean turned her sights on Rogue and said, "I gotta ask one thing; Sugar?"  
  
"Shut up Red! So I got a soft spot fer kids. Back off!" Rogue blushed even as she yelled at Jean.  
  
Jean just smiled and the three girls, much to everyone's surprise, spent the entire morning giggling. Jean took her first trip outside the infirmary in almost a month, and helped show Paige around. Paige even got a chance to apologize to Dr. McCoy for the way she had behaved. Albeit, she did it from behind Jean. The happiest moment of the day was when Paige saw Sam and ran up to him and tackled him screaming, "Guthrie Dogpile!" when he caught her and didn't fall over she said, "this is a lot easier with twelve of your siblings and nine of mine."  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
  
okay I hope you liked this chap, I know it has been long coming. Next chap we find out that Jean isn't as alone as she thinks. See you then. 


	5. not as alone as she thought

Here we go! The next-to-the-last chapter of Hurting.  
  
Not as alone  
  
Jean was in her bedroom for the first time in nearly a month. After seeing how she was with Paige, everyone thought she had overcome her depression, or as Evan was putting it, her "Funk". Now she was putting her room back in order, not to difficult since the only thing that had happened to it was that the sheets, which had been blood stained, were stripped. She was making her beds with the usual hospital corners, when someone knocked on her door.  
  
That someone didn't even wait for Jean to say, "Come in." Tabby just walked in, flipped a chair around and straddled it looking at Jean. "We need to talk," Tabby said, matter-of-factly. Jean had never seen Tabby this serious.  
  
"Whats up?" Jean asked, sitting down on her newly made bed.  
  
"I want to know when you are going to come out."  
  
"What?" Jean wasn't sure that Tabby was talking about her secret so she decided to just hold off. "what are you talking about, I have only been in here twelve minutes.  
  
"I mean of the closet Redd."  
  
"How do you mean the closet?"  
  
"Listen Jean," Tabby said as she began to gesticulate, something she did when she was annoyed. "I know your 'secret', so don't pretend with me."  
  
"how did you know?" Jean asked, resolving that Tabby somehow knew.  
  
"Picked you up on my 'Gay-Dar'" she said evenly.  
  
"what?"  
  
"You know, that sixth sense gays and lesbians have that shows them other gays and lesbians."  
  
Jean just stared at Tabby who had not shown any hint of a humor. "Kidding, I noticed familiar patterns."  
  
"So does that mean that you are . . ."  
  
"Yep, I'm livin la vida lesbo," she practically shouted.  
  
"And you're out?" Jean asked cautiously.  
  
"Well, the entire teaching staff know, and the three girls I was with last night know . . . at least I think they know . . ." Jean's slack jaw told Tabby that she hadn't caught that last part as a joke. "Kidding, I haven't actually done anything beyond kissing yet. Unfortunately that kissing was with a guy, one who had no idea what he was doing. Jesus, you are easy pickin's, Grey."  
  
"Sorry, I am still getting through the part about you being a lesbian." Jean rubbed her temples, she could feel the beginning of a headache.  
  
"Don't worry, I was in denial at first too. One of the main parts of denial, and one of the things I recognized you do, is to distance yourself from other women. Why do you think I left the brotherhood when all the other women came? I mean, Mystique in her vinyl mini-skirt, and Wanda in her skin tight body suit . . . too much for a closet case to handle. I came back here, and told the Proff all 'bout it, and he convinced me to embrace it. You really should too. I even told Blue. I felt I owed him an apology for stringing him along and all, just before I left. He was cool about it though, probably mostly 'cause he's got that Amanda chick." Jean was in shock. Tabby continued talking, although by this time it had degraded into gossip. Jean just stared at the blonde girl she had thought she had nothing but a pair of chromosomes and a gene in common with.  
  
"Hello?!" Tabby said rapping on Jean's head. Jean had spaced out and missed a question.  
  
"Sorry, I was thinking. What was the question?"  
  
"Same one I first asked; When are you comin' out?"  
  
"Never" was on the tip of Jeans tongue, but she held it back. "What could it benefit if I did come out?" Jean asked.  
  
"It would mean," said Tabby forcefully, "that you are being honest with yourself and your closest friends. You should at least tell Summers, in case him and Rogue don't work out. You know, so he don't come thinking he's got you."  
  
"Mr. Logan knows, isn't that enough?" Tabby gave her an annoyed, but playful glare.  
  
"But what if they think I'm a freak?" she said finally.  
  
"Then I'll be a freak with ya, and they can go screw themselves, but I don't they'll say that. I garuantee that by the end of the week you tell them that you will have at least one blind date set up."  
  
Jean chuckled a little, "that's what Mr. Logan said."  
  
"You should trust us." Tabby's voice was different than it usually was, it was soft and gentle. "They aren't going to hurt you Jean. They would never hurt you. She may not return your feelings, but at least they know some of the truth."  
  
Jean felt as if she had been shot, "She who?"  
  
"The girl you're crushin'" Tabby said gently, "Rogue."  
  
"How . . ."  
  
"You aren't as opaque as you would like to think." Tabby's smile twisted a little, and her eyes and Jeans eyes didn't part until jean said, "Okay, I'll do it."  
  
" 'At a girl," Tabby said hugging Jean, "Now are you gonna tell everyone?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll let Logan tell the teachers, but I'll tell the others."  
  
"way to go sweetie," Tabby said and planted a soft peck on her cheek. Jean's skin burned bright red. That was the best thing she had ever felt, with the possible exception of the time she and Rogue had shared headspace (A/N: Power Surge)  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
how'ma I doin? please R/R!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. A Circle of Friends

Okay, I'm am back with the final chapter of hurting. Here we go!  
  
RogueVampyr: yeah, they are attacking all my stuff, I cant get rid of them.  
  
Pyro: when I first started this story I had no intention of making that happen (heck when I first started this story I wanted Tabby to have a crush on Mystique but that was just too weird even for me), but now I think it might happen if I have a sequel  
  
Rilo: thanks, but she might not end-up with Rogue after all, it might become a Jeabby (Jean/Tabby)  
  
Mistress of Dragons: well of course you are, and well, I am continuing.  
  
Hurting VI: A Circle of Friends  
  
She took a deep breath and looked at her friends gathered before her. They were her closest family, and now she would have to reveal a secret that she was sure would drive them away. But it was just as both Tabby and Logan said, she owed it to them.  
  
As the last ones arrived and sat down, she began, "Okay you guys. You are probably wondering why I called you together." A murmur of assent went through the small mob. "Well, I want to tel you what I have been hiding for the last year. I have known this in a way, since I was dating Duncan." She looked at her feet. 'moment of truth,' she thought to herself. "I am a . . . that is to say, I am a . . ." but she couldn't bring herself to say it.  
  
She felt Tabby's hands slip around her shoulders as she said, "Like a band- aid babe. You gotta do it real quick."  
  
Jean grabbed one of Tabby's hands on her shoulders, closed her eyes and said, in as strong a voice as she could muster, "I am a lesbian." She looked to see the reaction from the room. It was totally silent. Then slowly Jamie raised his hand, and Jean sensed he was confused.  
  
"Okay I was . . . am, a very sheltered person, what country are lesbians from?" the youngest X-man asked.  
  
It took a moment for every one to understand that Jamie had no idea what a lesbian was. "Lesbian ain't a nationality short stuff," Rogue corrected, "it means she lahkes girls."  
  
"well of course she does," Jamie said, obviously still not getting it, "She is a girl. She kinda has to like 'em."  
  
"No, Tiny," Spyke said, "She likes them the same way guys like them."  
  
"But . . . Wait . . ." Jamie's brain was slowly beginning to process everything. After fifteen minutes of babbling, Jamie said, "Oh, okay, I get it now. So what's the big deal? It doesn't make her a bad person does it?"  
  
"No," Scott said instantly. He walked up to Jean an took her face in his hands and said, "You are my best friend, I'm not sure I could make it without you. Please don't scare the shit outta me like that again." With that he pulled her into a hug, and for the first time in a month, she returned her best friends hug.  
  
One by one each of her friends came up to her and gave her a hug. Kurt added with his, "Please, don't be afraid to talk. Hey vonce you haff seen dis cute fuzz ball with bed head, nozzing shocks you. I will alvays listen Jean. Alvays."  
  
Rogue said, "Ah don't lahke ya, but I sure do respect ya. And if you eva pull anya that crap again, ah will make sure that ya live jus' so ah can kill ya." Everyone had a good chuckle from that.  
  
Kitty walked timidly up to Jean and asked, "Are you back?"  
  
"Yeah," Jean said, "I'm back."  
  
"Good," Kitty said hugging the red-head, "'cause I was, like, totally wigging out. Please don't try again."  
  
Most of the new recruits said something to the effect of "Please don't go." The biggest variation was when Jamie and Paige added "ma'am" to theirs.  
  
Finally Tabby, who was getting sick of all the mushy stuff, called out, "Group Hug, lets get it over with."  
  
Rogue, of course, politely declined. But everyone else gathered in tight for a hug around Jean. It was all very touching until Amara said, "Jean is that your hand on my ass?"  
  
"No, mine," Tabby chimed.  
  
"oh, I forgot to mention," Jean said nonchalantly, "Tabby's a lesbian too."  
  
"You owe me ten," Sam said to Amara, who had already peeled Tabby's hand off of her butt.  
  
"Oh, Jean," Kitty piped up, "You know, I know this girl in my Math class who is, like, totally perfect for you. Her . . ."  
  
She never got a chance to finish as Jean was laughing to hard to give the illusion of listening.  
  
"What's so funny?" Scot asked.  
  
"Both Logan and Tabby said this would happen," Jean responded through heaving breaths.  
  
"What, that we would accept you?"  
  
"Yeah, well that too, but I mean, they both said that Kitty would set me up on a blind date within one week of my coming out."  
  
Everyone watched Jean have the biggest laugh they had seen her have in a month. It was good to know Jean was back. Now things could get back to not quite normal. 


End file.
